Why date yourself?

Kai Cafe Norfolk, ON

Friends come and go, jobs change, we move cities, people we love pass away.

The only person we have beside us the whole extent of our lives is ourselves. We can know logically that the relationship we have with ourselves is directly going to impact how we show up with others, and it's the longest relationship we have during our time on earth.... annnnnd it is often the relationship we neglect the most.

Why do we neglect ourselves, while also craving more love? We are more automatic than we know as humans; we do what was done to us, we learn to put others first and ourselves last. If we do not pay attention and steal moments for ourselves without guilt than we could be on autopilot burning out for years without noticing (other than all the resentment that builds against others for not caring for our needs as we neglect our needs ourselves).

Yes, it would be nice is someone else took me on a date

Yes, it would be nice if I didn't have to ask for what I want

Yes, it would be lovely if everyone saw me and what I needed and made it happen

I don't know about you but these kind of "I wish" thoughts did not get me very far and personally I do not want everyone I know to have the power to change my mood anymore. By taking on the responsibility of dating, treating, loving and showing up for me, I get to have more good days, I get to be happier and I get to be fulfilled without demanding it of others who probably do not even have it to give to their own selves.

Sam's Place Farm, Norfolk ON

I am lucky enough to have worked hard for the last ten years to get to the point in my career that I can go on a random drive on a Wednesday to a small town nearby and go to a coffee shop I have never been to before and enjoy new people, new things and new opportunities.

If you wait for others to join you, it might be a long wait. I would not have had many of the experiences I have gotten to enjoy in life if I waited for someone to come along with me. You do not need permission or another human to enjoy a simple day.

Simcoe ON, Riverside Food Hub

Self care does not need to be over complicated, ask yourself "what would be a really nice date that I would love to have with someone else?" and then go and have that date with you. Whether you're on a budget or if you are rolling and laughing in money the only thing that is required to date yourself is some bravery.

It can be uncomfortable to sit in a coffee shop or restaurant alone for the first time, so pretend you're a tourist or bring a comfort book or notebook the first time. After you sit alone in public once you cannot say anyone that you would never go and eat alone, it only takes one time to see if its for you. If public is not your vibe there's also just being in nature, I used to be afraid to explore nature alone but instead of not going in the water I learned to adjust my sails (share your location, caring dog spray, being mindful about only listening to music with one ear or not at all).

Here are some self date ideas, comment below a date you would like to try with yourself

• Trying a new restaurant or coffee shop

• Going to a zoo or botanical garden

• Going to a library or bookstore

• River or Ocean walk

• Driving range or batting cage

• Movement in the outdoors (pilates in the park, yoga in my backyard)

• Going to a movie or a show

• Seeing something beautiful just for the sake of it.

You deserve the time and energy it takes to enjoy a day that is fully about you without compromising on lunch or the car music. Take yourself on a date, you are worth it.

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