A Road Map for Grief - Work, Acquaintances and Strangers

The grief literacy of the general public may not be able to give you anything but generic. “I’m sorry for your loss” “they are in a better place” “you’ll find someone else even better”. Let’s just take a second with these and think about going through the biggest loss to date and having someone lob you one of these. I simply think we can do better by talking about grief in places that are safe and competent and when you are ready, you are capable of processing your grief with yourself.

Work, acquaintances and strangers are going to be tempting to unload your grief with even due to proximity alone. You see them, you chat, they ask how you are. You might explode because your grief has been sitting on the burner on high with a cork in it. One gentle inquiry, we burst. 💥

Taking time to grieve, letting out a little bit at a time and be intentional can do a lot for our grief. There will still be grief bursts and waves that crash down on us. There will also be composure, processing, including the grief into my life rather than fighting it.

What a grief hour can look like:

⁃ Looking at pictures and videos

⁃ Incorporating instruments and music

⁃ Physically moving grief through movement

⁃ Crying

⁃ Screaming into a pillow

⁃ Tearing pages out of a book you don’t care about

⁃ Writing letters (burn, drown, keep, tear up. Dealers choice)

⁃ Screaming in the car

⁃ Doing something related to a loved one (my grandma baked, when I bake it’s a continuing bond for me)

You may get lucky with some situations with the outer circles of your life, grief can be a time that brings people together. It can also be a time that only the emotionally mature can navigate effectively. Without telling you what to do, therapeutically I would not recommend the grocery store employees to be a dependable form of grief support.

I would recommend...

- Finding a therapist that clearly states they work with and are competent in grief work

⁃ Finding a grief group through a hospice or online community

⁃ Taking free or low fee grief literacy training from the HPCO

⁃ Reading books on grief

⁃ Asking yourself what you want your grief roadmap to look like